Funny how well do you know me questions

40 questions, grouped by how much they'll cost you.

No introspection here. These are the questions that end with someone saying "that is NOT what I would do" for twenty minutes. Use them when the room needs lifting rather than deepening — a long drive, a queue, the flat part of an evening. The rule that makes them work: whoever is being asked about has to stay quiet until the guess is fully committed to. Half a guess isn't a guess, and the fun is entirely in watching someone confidently get you wrong.

Petty specifics

  1. What would I do first if the wifi went down?
  2. Which of my exes would I least want to run into?
  3. What's the pettiest reason I've ever ignored someone?
  4. How long would I last without my phone?
  5. What food would I refuse even if I were starving?
  6. What's my most unhinged shopping habit?
  7. Which chore do I pretend I forgot?
  8. What's the last thing I lied about to get out of plans?
  9. How many unread emails do I have, within a hundred?
  10. What would I be famous for?

Hypotheticals

  1. If I got arrested, what for?
  2. Would I survive a week alone in the woods?
  3. What would I spend a surprise thousand on, immediately?
  4. Which of us would crack first in an interrogation?
  5. What would my reality show be called?
  6. If I could uninvent one thing, what?
  7. What's the worst job I'd actually be good at?
  8. Which fictional character do I unironically think I am?
  9. What would I do with an extra hour that nobody knew about?
  10. How would I do in a fight against a goose?

About us, but stupid

  1. Who would get us lost faster?
  2. Which of us would be the first to break a group chat?
  3. Who is objectively the funnier one, and is that a fight?
  4. What's the dumbest thing we've spent money on together?
  5. Who takes longer to answer a simple question?
  6. What's our most-repeated argument?
  7. Which of us is the bad influence?
  8. If we opened a business, what would go wrong first?
  9. Who would win at absolutely nothing important?
  10. What's a story about us we've both told wrong for years?

Rapid fire

Ten seconds each. No deliberating, no take-backs.

  1. Sweet or savoury, no hesitating?
  2. Would I read the terms and conditions? Ever?
  3. Do I make the bed?
  4. Cash or card person?
  5. Would I go back for a dropped glove?
  6. Am I early, on time, or lying about it?
  7. Do I sing in the car when alone?
  8. Would I keep a found twenty?
  9. Window or aisle, and would I fight about it?
  10. Do I actually like my own cooking?

Or let it score itself

Reading questions out loud only works if you're both being honest about the answers. The bestie quiz asks 16 of them about your actual behaviour, gives you each a four-letter role, and then tells you what the two roles make together.

Other question lists

Questions are prompts, not tests. On what actually predicts whether a friendship lasts, see American Psychological Association — Friendship.